Dear Readers, it’s time to tell you that Bob and I are separated and moving towards divorce. He moved out last May. It’s been hard and heartbreaking. It’s also been such an odd summer of learning to live alone amidst the pandemic and the racial reckoning in Minneapolis. We were together for 32 years, and for both of us, more than half of our lives has been lived with each other, intertwined, creating a family, close and sharing everything. It’s a big, sad change. Continue reading
Today I woke up way too early, so I decided to drive over to the George Floyd memorial in Minneapolis, at 38th and Chicago, the place where he was murdered on Memorial Day. I had originally driven by the area on May 28, three days after it happened, and there was a smaller assortment of flowers, balloons, signs and notes spilling over the sidewalk in front of the CUP Foods store. Continue reading
It’s hard for me to believe I’ve been a mother for 29 years. Back in 1991 around this time I was pregnant with my twins, getting ready to move into our new house in June, looking ahead with excitement and nervousness to this new stage of life for Bob and me. We didn’t know in May that we’d have to jump through some scary hoops first, since I went into pre-term labor at 25 weeks three weeks after we’d moved in. We feared the babies would be born dangerously way too soon, so I spent 6 weeks in the hospital on bedrest (it was a miserable summer for me that year). Gennie and Leo still made us parents sooner than we thought, being born at 31 weeks, tiny but mostly healthy. My adventures in motherhood began with a bang, and I’m so grateful and happy for the highs and lows and work and fun that those twins and their younger brother Dante have brought us through.
I was thinking more about motherhood this week after reading a social media post by someone who is pregnant with her first child. She was thinking about what kind of mother she’d be, and hoping she’d raise a good person. My mind circled around on Nature vs. Nurture (I think it takes some of both), and then I started thinking about what makes a good mother. What does it take? Continue reading