Divorce Lesson #10

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I’m sitting out here at the almost-6-month mark. It’s been quite a journey, and my life is basically unrecognizable from what it used to be– mentally, emotionally and physically. I’m crossing a landscape of intense feelings I never knew existed before. It’s weird. It’s good. It’s hard. It’s my life.

I know I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been on a voracious knowledge-seeking quest (hence my Hermione nickname). I haven’t been able to read fiction hardly at all– I’ve been absorbing self-help and relationship books at a fast pace. Because of the intensity of my situation, I’ve been on a steep learning curve and I’m racing to keep up. I want to know everything now– which sounds a bit desperate, and maybe it is, but it’s been fueling huge growth for me.

The relationship between Bob and me is continuing to change and grow. It can never go back to what it was before…

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Divorce Lesson #9

Snow people

It’s been just over a month since Bob moved out. I find that I’m in two different places on my journey right now. On the one hand, there’s been a slow feeling of settling in to the new situation, getting used to the feel of it, figuring out how it all works, individually and together.

But now the other hand has been opening up for me as I’m starting to have a lot of old issues come up, past emotional baggage, deep unhealed wounds. Now that I have more quiet space in my life, a tsunami of ancient grief (mixed with the newer pain of loss) has been washing over me, and I’m feeling it all at once. God, it’s like being sliced open…

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Divorce Lesson #8

Dating in 1988

Dear Reader,

I find myself in the peculiar position of dating my own husband, who is living separately in an apartment across town. I’ve said it before—we are not having any kind of a “typical” divorce. I’m sure that’s been at least a little bit evident, from that first announcement we put out on Facebook and my continued blog posts.

But in the four months since this started, things have morphed and changed as we’ve talked and worked hard on issues that have come up…

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Divorce Lesson #7

Ayanna 12

December was a hard, sweet month. Hard for the busyness, the book, the surgery, the time-crunch of the holidays. Sweet for a special get-away we had, touching moments, a loving Christmas, and much closeness. But hard again for the anxious countdown to January.

Bob moved out of our house in early January into an apartment. It was an upsetting time for both of us, a wrenching apart that we knew must happen…

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