musings, life lessons & poetry from Theresa Jarosz Alberti

Author: Theresa Alberti (Page 1 of 39)

Divorce Surgery

Today would have been my 35th wedding anniversary if my ex and I had stayed married (he left 4 years ago, and the divorce has been final for almost a year and a half).  It’s strange to have these days come along, an old anniversary that we used to celebrate and share the memories of, and now, not. But it’s still a big memory of a day that was special, so I tip my hat and acknowledge it for myself, feel the pangs of both happy thoughts and grief (which s-l-o-w-l-y softens over time).

Today feels like a good day to share a poem I’ve been working on for 2 years and finally finished. It took a long time and word-puzzling to have it say what I really want to say, using surgery as a metaphor. I think a lot of people can relate to the topic, considering the divorce rates. I’m including an audio of me reading the poem, so you can read or listen if you’re interested. Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think!

 

DIVORCE SURGERY

1.
They stand before us in suits, not scrubs,
no scalpels or scopes in sight.
The cuts will be just as deep and precise
as they bisect us,
me from you,
you from me,
peering inside organs we’d grown to share
in our co-joined state,
snipping the sinews,
separating tendons and muscle
from bone.

But how? Continue reading

The Messy Middle Is Where It’s At

I think I’ve written about the Messy Middle before. Probably because that’s where I’m usually hanging out!

But no one else is, right?

As someone who grew up with a perfectionistic judgey voice in my head, I imagine that almost everyone else is keeping up much better than I am, That You All have some secret to life and are happy and organized and getting your stuff done, that I haven’t figured out yet. I see you #livingyourbestlife on Instagram and Facebook… that’s the way it is for you, right?

And me, I’m always feeling like I’m running-running-running, trying to catch up. I’m always behind.

I get it– this is all a myth, one that’s out there, one that’s in my head. The “everybody else has it figured out and I’m failing” myth. We all usually post photos of the good days, the special days, the pretty days. When I look at those posts, I compare my shit-days to your good-days, and then I’m back to judging myself. This is not a good plan to live by.

So I pause and remember to breathe, tell myself it’s okay, perfectionism isn’t a goal because it isn’t real or remotely possible. I can look around my Messy Middle Life and (breathe again) count the things I’m grateful for. There are so many. Remember comparison is the thief of joy (I think Brené Brown said that). It’s just good and okay to be here in my Messy Middle Life on my Messy Middle Couch. It really is.


Photo by Sahin Sezer Dincer on Unsplash.com

To Duluth With Dante

This week I did a quick overnight trip with my son Dante (28) up north to Duluth, Minnesota, a less-than 3-hour drive from Minneapolis.  I’d been wanting to take him there since he doesn’t remember Duluth at all, even though we’d been there as a family when he was growing up. I had some hotel points to use up, we could just leave the cat easily overnight, and a quick trip fit my still-unemployed budget. So, throw some items in a bag and off to Duluth!

One cool thing about Duluth is that you can drive 150 miles and really feel like you are Someplace Else. Its main feature is that it is a port city on Lake Superior, the largest freshwater lake in the world by surface area. Duluth is bordered by bluffs with the lake and port below, so there are many spots to get breathtaking and expansive scenic views. The lake is a powerful presence of nature that permeates the city. Duluth is dramatic and peaceful at the same time, which makes it a favorite destination of many. Continue reading

Bathroom Remodel – Before and After!

It’s done! I’m excited that I can now share with you the process and results of my bathroom remodel, and more about the repairs and remodeling that were done on the rest of the house. I always love looking at other people’s remodeling photos and hearing how the experience went, so I hope you’ll enjoy this dive into how mine turned out.

This was the third big remodeling project that I’ve been through in my 32 years in this house. The first (in 1997) was to chop off the back of the house and do a 3-story addition including a much larger kitchen, giving us the space we’d need to live as a family of 5 in a small house. The second (in 2006) was mainly finishing the attic space into a bedroom and bath, giving us a second bathroom in the house (yay!).

This current remodel project encompassed a lot of bits and pieces to improve the house, repairing things that weren’t working, replacing parts that were rundown, taking care of long overdue tasks that needed maintenance. The work was done by Wonderwoman Construction, a wonderful woman-owned company that had also done the previous attic and bathroom remodel. I’ll get into more of the nitty-gritty about the full project below.  But first, a few Before bathroom photos. Continue reading

« Older posts

© 2024 Pen and Moon

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑