I am trying to make sense of this, the deep feelings that come over me directly after a holiday. It might be when driving home from somewhere else, or when the door closes at my house after the flurry of goodbyes and coats and hugs. The sudden quiet, the change in energy… I find myself sucked into a vortex of sadness settling into my chest, an emptiness, loneliness. I find myself asking, Why?
Often, I will have had a good time celebrating the day. Even though I’m a quiet person, I’m more of an extrovert and love socializing. I have family. We have delicious feasts. But it often all ends too soon for me, with people rushing off, as people do in their busy lives. I find myself longing for more — more connection, more laughter, more time spent together. Is this all there is?, I wonder. Continue reading
Some of you may remember four years ago when I was posting Divorce Lessons. I was going through a pretty traumatic time in my life after Bob had asked for a divorce in September 2014. I started blogging about what I was going through and what I was learning in those raw, vulnerable months. In Lesson #5, I posted about what our Thanksgiving looked like that year, and how I was making changes to create new routines, a possibly New Normal at a time when nothing felt normal.
I’m reposting it today. I’m finding that as I look back at that time and the many things I learned in the process are good for me to practice today. Of course, after going through many rocky months, much therapy, many changes, and Bob living in an apartment for almost two years, we did not get divorced. And that’s just one of the many things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I hope you enjoy this repost, and have a very happy Thanksgiving, my friends!
[November 30, 2014] Technically, this Thanksgiving was the dreaded First Holiday. Maybe next year will be more drastically different since our living situation will have changed and we’ll be further down this road, but this year, with all the divorce-talk, the holiday has certainly had a different feel. Continue reading
Poetry Monday! Here’s something to hopefully brighten your day. Or at least distract you from Monday-ness…
“Man is the only mammal that willingly delays sleep.” — National Sleep Foundation
I was born knowing how to sleep,
a blissful baby sleepyhead like
most. Yet sometime in my
kid days, I froze: “You mean
I could DIE before I WAKE?”
That prayer I’d said
hundreds of nights now
sinking in. Have I ever
slept well again since? Continue reading
I am lucky enough to live two blocks from the Mississippi River here in Minneapolis. I’m not quite sure why, but I have a love affair with this river. I feel some kind of energetic connection to this artery that flows from the top to bottom of our country. I feel pulled to look at it, see how blue or gray, smooth or choppy the waters are, especially when I drive over the Marshall-Lake Street Bridge and can see a long view of it on both sides. It somehow gives something back to me too. It sparks my creativity; I’ve written a few poems about it too, like this one here. Continue reading