Pen and Moon

musings, life lessons & poetry from Theresa Jarosz Alberti

Tag: shame

Let’s Talk About “Size”

One evening last week, I went on a walk with my husband Bob. Halfway through, we sat on a parkway bench, talking. We were startled by a voice shouting out of a car going by, a middle-school-aged boy with his head stuck out of the open window, looking at us. We turned to each other, puzzled. “I think he said, ‘Fat Positivity.'” That’s what we both heard. But… why?

Bob went on with what he had been talking about, and I found myself unable to listen. I felt the familiar warm flush of shame on my face, and my mind started spinning on the incident. “Fat Positivity” sounded, well, Positive, but was it taunting? Was it solidarity of some kind (a lot to expect from a young boy)? Even if it was well-intended, it was still someone seeing me in all my fatness, noticing it, calling it out. I felt seen in a way I didn’t want to be, attention being called to an aspect of my body that is unacceptable by society’s standards, not to mention being judged as unattractive, undesirable, and a personal failing. Continue reading

No Shame at the Pool Party

 

This weekend I went to my first Fat Splash — a private pool party for fat people. The event was sponsored by Cake Plus-Size Resale, a new-ish consignment shop in Minneapolis with a fabulous selection of clothes and a safe, body-positive space for shoppers. My daughter Gennie eagerly snatched up two tickets for us when they went on sale, which was smart because the party sold out in 12 hours, and an additional party sold out quickly too.

Over the years, I’ve heard about fat pool parties in various books, articles, blogs, Facebook groups in other states, and more recently, saw one on the recent fat-positive Hulu show “Shrill” (which is based on the wonderful book by Lindy West). These parties looked fun and freeing, but also far-away, unreachable. I didn’t think I’d ever get to go to one… Continue reading

Poetry Writing Challenge – Day 4

 Welcome to Day 4 of my 30-Day Poetry Challenge!

  • I’m writing and posting a new poem every day through the month of April (yikes!), for better or worse.
  • AND, as a gift, I’m giving away a copy of my poetry book EVERY DAY this month. FREE!
  • Sign up to WIN a copy of (After) Confession by just leaving a comment beneath the poem of the day.
  • I will pick a winner every day in April! So comment every day for a new chance to win.

OR, you can purchase your own copy of (After) Confession for the new low price of $9.00 USD, shipping and handling included! Click here to read sample poems and purchase a copy.

Congratulations, Jen D-K, for winning a free copy of my poetry book! (I do a raffle from those who commented on yesterday’s post.) Jen, please email me your address so I can send your prize: theresa.sapphire@gmail.com

Now onto today’s poem. Don’t forget to comment, and check back tomorrow to see if you’ve won!

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Today’s NaPoWriMo prompt:  write about “something abstract – perhaps an ideal like “beauty” or “justice,” but which discusses or describes that abstraction in the form of relentlessly concrete nouns.” 

Feeling Continue reading

Body Joy

I’ve been going to our local YWCA for many years, but it’s only in the last 18 months that I’ve started hanging out regularly in the women’s locker room.  When I do “dry exercises” (like cardio equipment or weights) I come already in my gym clothes and leave after exercising, changing at home.  But since I’ve been doing water aerobics twice a week, I’ve been showering and changing there (with its hot tub and seemingly endless supplies of hot water!).

 I’m not particularly modest, nor are most of the women there.  I now get to see a variety of women’s bodies uncovered by clothing on a regular basis.  Continue reading

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