musings, life lessons & poetry from Theresa Jarosz Alberti

Category: Uncategorized (Page 9 of 14)

Giving Up Perfection

This weekend I was driving down the river road and saw a young artist with his easel set up on the bike path.  He was standing in front of his canvas, painting the beautiful Fall colors.  I turned and craned my neck to see how he was doing as I drove by.  There were colors and lines on the canvas, a half-finished work of art.  “That’s brave,” I thought, standing there in public where anyone could watch his process, see the humble beginnings, judge what might not look like much in the middle.

I remembered watching Bob Ross on public television when I was a kid.  My dad liked to watch him teach the audience how to paint landscapes, and Mr. Ross did have a mesmerizing quality about his voice (painting all his “happy little trees.”)  I was fascinated by his process—he’d start painting the scene and it would look like a mess.  It looked like a mess until he was more than half-way through–  every time I watched, I was sure he had totally botched his painting this time.  Wouldn’t you know, he always managed to turn his mess into a miracle, and end the show with a lovely nature scene.

All this has got me thinking about Perfectionism lately.  Continue reading

What Gratitude and My Birthday Taught Me

 

gratitude_thich_nhat_hanh-514723

I’ve been hearing a lot about gratitude lately.  I remember it casually being mentioned years ago… probably when Oprah started talking about the importance of keeping a Gratitude Journal.  I did dabble in it for a while (I love journals and pens!), but nothing made it stick.  Now, with the flow of information coming to me from Facebook, videos, internet articles, books, I keep getting little pings into my consciousness… “gratitude is important, gratitude is important…”

How important?  I mean, we can say Gratitude is Important till the cows come home, but a skeptic like me needs a little proof.  For me, that has come in the form of a quote from Dr. Brene Brown, a shame and vulnerability researcher, and author of many books, including the current bestseller, Daring Greatly.  She says that after 12 years of research and 11,000 pieces of data:

“I did not interview in all that time a person who would describe themselves as joyful, or describe their lives as joyous, who didn’t actively practice gratitude.”

She goes on to say:  “…practicing gratitude invites joy into our lives… When I say practice gratitude, I don’t mean the attitude of gratitude or feeling grateful, I mean practicing gratitude.  These folks shared in common a tangible gratitude practice.”*

Wow, this really struck me.  I have to admit, I’m not a particularly joyful person… Continue reading

Let the Feelings Come

Dante car crop

Last weekend we dropped our youngest off for college.  We’re not quite empty-nesters yet, since our college-grad daughter is living with us, but the house definitely has a different feel.  There are no “kids” for me to manage and prod and schedule around.  There’s no boisterous talk describing video game action, good or bad.  In fact, maybe for the first time ever in our family, there’s more female energy in the house than male energy!

I must admit, I feel unsettled this week.  We have been building up to that Continue reading

Huh.  Apparently I’ve been a trendsetter, or at least ahead of the curve,  just by making decisions about my name 24 years ago.  Who’d’ve guessed?

An article in the  Minneapolis Star Tribune on July 14, 2013 analyzed the decisions women make about changing their names after getting married.  (You can read  “The Modern Way for Women to Create a Married Name,” if they keep the article online.)  Reporter Nara Schoenberg writes that 25% of married women take their husband’s last name but make their maiden name their legal middle name.  Very few women in history followed this practice, but there were some notable ones, like Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. The women’s movement in the 1970s made it a bit more common (Hilary Rodham Clinton is mentioned), but hyphenated last names were more popular in the ’80s and ’90s.  The current statistic of 25% of women keeping their maiden name as a middle name along with their husband’s last name is a marked rise. Continue reading

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