For about 18 months before my first knee surgery, I was in worsening chronic pain that greatly limited me and affected the quality of my life. It was a huge lesson for me in PAIN, what it’s really like and how much it can impact all the hours of a day. I know people who have been in pain like this for decades, people I care about, and yet I really didn’t understand it at all. I wanted to write a poem that would try to express (to the best of my ability) the nitty-gritty experience of pain. Let’s see how I did…
Dedicated to the Sufferers Continue reading
It’s been awhile since I did a health update. I get asked about my knees all the time when I run into people. Now I have some news, so it’s time to share.
The last posts had been on the procedures I had this last winter/spring. After months of pursuit, I finally had radiofrequency ablation done on each of my knees– a procedure where they insert three needles and burn out the nerve endings. It’s supposed to give pain relief, and for some people, it gives them a couple of years of increased mobility with a big decrease in pain. Unfortunately, for me it only gave me a little pain relief and no increase in mobility. For each procedure, I had to go through a whole painful pre-procedure to do a test of the needle locations. It was quite discouraging to not get better results from all of this.
My next plan was to go back to looking for a surgeon for knee replacement surgery. You may remember that a year ago I’d been rejected for surgery by a few surgeons because of my weight. While I understand they have concerns and that there are increased risks of infection with larger patients, I knew that I was a pretty good candidate for surgery anyway… Continue reading
My Facebook Memories has reminded me that it’s now been a year since the cortisone shots stopped working for my knees. This began a long trip down the rabbit hole to a kind of year I didn’t know was in store for me. Instead of getting my freelance writing gig going or finding a job, I started dealing with Pain– stabbing, burning, achingly sore, white-knuckling-it, limping my way through my days. Bone-on-bone arthritic knees end up throwing off the whole body, and the pain over here can lead to pain over there. And sleep, which should be a rest and a respite, gets mucked up by Pain, and leads to a night of tossing and turning with soreness.
My, that sounds fun, doesn’t it? Continue reading
A lot has changed for me in the last 6 months. Spring and summer are known as road construction season in Minnesota, and I find I’m on a long detour now, off-road from where I thought I was going. It’s not horrible — I know some people going through really horrific detours in their life. Mine is challenging and difficult, but really just AFGO (Another Fucking Growth Opportunity, or as we writers say: more material).
In the previous post, I wrote about my efforts to go from temping jobs to pursuing freelance business writing full time. Just as I was putting the final touches on my planning and research, I started to get hit by some things that threw me off track…. Continue reading