Yesterday was not a great day.
I had hopes about things I wanted to do, to focus on. With this Global Pandemic and #StayAtHome, it seems like I have this endless blank-canvas of a day to do things, to be productive, to march forward on my goals. Sometimes I have a little luck with this, but often I’ve been finding myself getting lost in eddies of anxiety and distractions, and the day is suddenly gone. Yesterday, I listened to the news too much, which only ups my stress. Or I abruptly interrupted whatever I was trying to do by scrolling on social media— looking for… Something. I read more upsetting articles on Twitter. I watched Instagram stories flutter by in the stream. I didn’t exercise or write or make art, some of the things on my list, things that usually make me feel better.
How about you? Does any of this sound familiar? Continue reading
Hello there… it’s been awhile. The last I blogged it was February and I was hibernating that whole month post-Knee Surgery #2, while it was wickedly wintry outside. I feel like I’ve been hibernating in other ways since then too — unable to write much, feeling a bit lost in my life, flicking in and out of some depression, and focusing on other physical and emotional recovery.
The great news it that my surgeries went really well. I don’t have knee pain anymore! After a few years of excruciating pain, it’s a freakin’ miracle to have that go away. Unfortunately, I developed hyper lordosis, a back condition that makes my back hurt after walking short distances or standing too long. I’m working with my physical therapist to stretch my back and build up strength and stamina. I want to go on longer walks and be fully functional, and my back has been slowing that down.
After two major surgeries a few months apart, I’m learning that recovery is a slower process than I think it will be. Of course I knew there’d be a hard period on strong pain meds and using a walker, needing lots of help and doing mega physical therapy… but after two or three months, I’d be good to go, right? Even though I got off the pain meds, switched to a cane and had a lot less pain, there was still plenty of healing to do. Continue reading